I can’t count the times I’ve grappled with the idea of getting married before it’s legal for my best friend Travis and his partner. I argued with myself for hours about it before I was engaged, and now it’s here: I’m marrying my best friend before Travis gets to marry his.
Travis and his partner have been together for longer than me and Ben. They own a house! (I sort of think owning a house is a bigger commitment than marriage, but don’t tell Ben I said that.) They’ve seen job changes, school registrations, and family hardships together, but they can’t get married.
We can, and it’s not fair.
The fact is, I’m so excited to proclaim my love and commitment to Ben, but I’m still very uncomfortable with the government sanctioning relationships. Even my own. There are polyamorous relationships that are just as significant as mine, homosexual relationships, and any other iteration you can think of–they’re all valid.
Why does ours receive special privileges?
It shouldn’t. It sucks, and I’m going to write about this topic more extensively, but tonight I just need to tell you all that it isn’t fair, and I want to ask you to donate some of your hard-earned money to help fight for marriage equality in Utah. Here’s a suggestion from one of my favorite people, a great friend, and a plaintiff in the Kitchen v Herbert case: