Why Your Favorite Dude Might Not Appreciate Beyonce


Have you ever been driving in your car with a heteronormative dude, and you’re rocking out to the latest hit by Bey or Pink, and you look over and see a stoney-faced car mate? What doesn’t he understand?! This music is great! The beat, her voice, it is all so amazing!  How is he sitting still? Why does he complain every time you turn on your favorite female musician?

You don’t have a problem singing along to any of his music. Not one bit. You sing-along to the myriad of male rappers flowing about your lady parts. And the rockstars. And the punk stars. And the…what the fuh?

Why does he have such a hard time with music when a lady is at the mic?

It’s simple really–this is a man’s world honey, and you’ve been socialized to live in it.

From a young age women in the United States read stories with male protagonists. We watch boy heroes occupy the lead role in almost every movie, television show, cartoon, and story. As a result, little girls don’t have much of a problem identifying with boys.

We read movies and watch books from the male perspective. By the time we’re adults it is easy to think like a man (and by man, we mean the generic vision of masculinity churned out by the media).

The same isn’t true for boys.

Not only are there fewer books, cartoons, movies, and television shows with female leads, but boys are taught from an early age that anything female is inherently anti-masculine. If you identify at all with the feminine, you are a sissy. A pussy. A woman.

So boys just don’t have to do it, and even if they want to, they can’t according to the “guy code.” They don’t have to identify with women in music, movies, or books.

All of that socialization doesn’t just disappear in adulthood, which is why you hear men (we’re making SWEEPING generalizations here, so bear with us) groan when you play a little Britney Spears in the car. They just don’t get it.

Nevermind the fact that you have listened to male singers all of your life. They haven’t listened to female artists since boyhood, so why should they start now?


  1. I can see how this can be true in quite a few men. In my defense though, my favorite vocalist are Brody Dalle, Gwen Stefani (from her No Doubt days), and Merrill Nisker but I still hate it when my friends put on Britney Spears or Beyonce. Musical taste can be as much as a factor as anything. I believe that women can really rock out, doesn’t mean I enjoy most of the music out there that is outside my musical tastes, whether its a female or male vocalist.

  2. I’d have to disagree pretty strongly. I can only speak for myself, but all the artists you mentioned are pop artists. I tend to strongly dislike pop because of the synth beats and constructed music that the artist certainly didn’t perform. Most of the musical tracks are canned crap. And this is true of both male and female artists. Among your examples, I think Pink has two songs I like, since they rise above canned melodies.

    That doesn’t mean I have an issue with women artists or think I’m a pussy because I enjoy them. I love Adele because her lyrical ability is amazing. The cadence of her singing and her word selection matches the music in a fantastic way. Leona Lewis’ “Bleeding Love” was awesome for how the singing complimented the music and the way she incorporated the heartbeat. I strongly prefer rock because of the traditional chords, key signatures, instruments used, and the fact that the artists actually play all of their music themselves. So I love Halestorm and Evanescence. Going back to when I was a kid, I love Stevie Nicks and Fleetwood Mac. And that’s just off the top of my head.

    Just because I don’t like pop “let’s just use generic musical selection A1C for this one” music doesn’t mean I have a problem with female singers. We just like something different. I prefer Tool and Avenged Sevenfold because of the way they build their music – the voice of both lead singers actually detracts from what I enjoy about it. Why does the type of music I listen to need to be a ::cause::?

    Perhaps the guy in question was offended at the implication – stated or otherwise, both by you and others – that he was wrong for the type of music he liked, and that the only “right” way to be was to like pop music.

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