It Isn’t Me. It’s My Lack of Penis

lack of penis

“I don’t know how I feel about three women running things. Who knows how that will turn out.”

That quote is from real life. My real life. I can’t say who said it, or which organization they are a part of, but trust me–people still say stuff like this on a daily basis. I was one of the three women in question, and after my initial fury my wheels started turning about sexism in general. Sexism isn’t always overt, sometimes it’s kind of benevolent (read: opening doors, insisting women go first, etc.), and sometimes it’s the benevolent stuff that really gets under my skin.

Benevolent sexism is the sexism that people can deny. It provides cover for the misogynist who wants to get away with nasty comments and actions, and it usually works. Calling out benevolent sexism engenders cries of, “It’s in your head,” “Quit making things out to be worse than they are,” and on, and on. At its worst, calling out this type of sexism can make you feel like your experience isn’t valid. It can make you question yourself.

Sometimes I think I prefer overt sexism, and here’s the main reason why:

I immediately know that a person’s shitty behavior isn’t about me as an individual. It’s about my sex and/or gender.

(I usually bitch and moan that “it’s my vagina,” that freaks these dudes out, but I’m amending that statement, because I imagine that some of my fellow sisters with penises run into more shit than I do.)

Don’t get me wrong, I prefer no sexism to sexism of any variety, but sometimes I just like to know where I stand without question.

What do you think? Does overt sexism pose a “relief” for you in the same way?

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